It's been intermittent thoughts,
Here and there.
The response I deserve?
At least for now?
I've not been faithful,
At least not until now,
Since the Monday she made it to Canaan,
I've held still.
But that should have nothing to do with this response.
This gift's not ready and I understand that...perfectly.
It's sad and broken hearted.
She was the one.
And till this time, no girl wants to travel this road
No, not one!
I neither know where to turn to,
Nor what to do.
It's a bad feeling.
This gift won't be mine
This then might be the beginning
Of a long...long wait
Or maybe not.
Are we gonna be dealing with another failure?
Head bowed over a long face
What next? Saddened and know not what next.
Victory? Naaaa, those ones don't come easy
It leaves you high and dry
Especially when you didn't see it coming
Or maybe you did, but you'd rather ignore the signs
This is failure
At least it feels that way
I've lost and that's bad
Really bad
Did i just have that dream?!
Oh yes, there are still the dreams
Dreams that awaken hope
And sows a deception
That maybe, just maybe
All is not ended
And this might just be the beginning
Of a hard road
This is painful
And no matter how hard I try
I remain broken
And a part of me has refused to accept this reality
I know not where to turn to
Neither a place to run to
Or a shoulder to rest my head
My wants have vanished
And feels like there's nothing I want anymore
Or maybe, I'm not worthy after all
Or maybe, this just isn't the path for me
Time and again
Rejection has been the response
Isn't it just funny
How this routine
Is mimicking a law governing my existence
I pray not the worst to happen
I just need saving grace
And for hope to come alive again
I want a chance at survival
I chance to live
And to dream again
To be happy
To love
And be loved in return
I want a victory I'll cherish
For until then
I'm drifting in this pool of failure!
melchi
11052014
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